life nowadays is really depressing. the same old routine everyday. with the same old lack of enthusiasm. what's wrong with you? i ask myself. gone is the hyperactive kid with a smile every minute on her face. gone is the cheerful person who encourages others and tries her best to help someone complete her task, although i'm always being seen as dense and stupid. yes gone. gone with the wind.


it's just the same old routine everyday. although i can afford the time to sleep at 10, it's just the quality of sleep that is lacking. i just wake up everyday looking and feeling just like someone who sleeps at 3am. whoa. and yes. i just really dont get how the world goes round. since when was the world ever round? oh well.


yes so it's just me. sigh. always experiencing bad days no matter where i go and what ever happens. it's just doesn't feel the same anymore. and yes. i once thought you cared. i once cared. nowadays, you just dont seem to care anymore. yes. just like what bertha said, if it's not my problem i shouldnt really care about it. what matters is just that i do my job well and stuff. if that's the case of me bothering too much, i guess i'll just hide in that lonely corner once more. burying in my books trying to mug for the exams. the passion i once had, is now lost. something should be done to rekindle it. i can only hope for the best. it's just right after that particular incident, you've changed so much. so much till i cant recognise who is the real you anymore. is power destructive? is biasness prevelant in my life? i can say that the answer to those two questions are yes. and it's getting more obvious. please. nato-ing wont get you anywhere. no talk action only. piff.


oh well. acadamics wise. omg yes it's you again. sometimes i guess things aint fair. it never was i guess. that's why some people are taller, smarter and nicer. if you ask me, i think the loser is just me. always "losing out" and getting all the blame. amaths and emaths and chemistry are confusing me. i'm so stuck and lost. the mids are coming in like the next week. getting sicker and sicker if i'm gonna continue studying. how i wish the mids would be over soon.


from now on. i'll try my best just to do my job to the best of my ability. i am not gonna care about what you have to do. i'm not gonna be the kind one helping you out in times of need. i'm not gonna be the one searching for additional information and getting scolded for it. i'm just gonna keep my mouth shut like 90% of the time. my suggestions aint constructive anyway. what for speak and getting scolded and blamed all the time. in the end i'll only end up as the kpo one who is freakin irritating and likes to bug up in your matters. i'm hardening up. please remind me if i'm ever soft hearted again. that's it. i'm sick of all these nonsense.






the passion for enterprise is fading away.








this is the song from my favorite band when i was like a young little kid. apart from barney and sesame street. i just loved these 3 programmes a lot a lot. and yes. i would like to share this song with you.



Hi 5 - Feelings
Feelings go up.
Feelings go down.
There's lots of different feelings.
Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round
Sometimes they're good.
Sometimes they're bad.
But feelings are something...
That everyone has.

When you are happy.
You have a smile on your face.
The sun is shining. I
t's a beautiful day
You run outside, (You run outside).
And start to play.
Playing with my friends makes me happy today.

Feelings go up.
Feelings go down.
There's lots of different feelings.
Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round
Sometimes they're good.
Sometimes they're bad.
But feelings are something...
That everyone has.

When I am grumpy.
And stomping around.
No smile on my face.
'cos it's turned to a frown.
A funny thing happens.
And my eyes make some tears.
But...
A hug from a friend takes away all my fears.

Feelings go up.
Feelings go down.
There's lots of different feelings.
Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round
Sometimes they're good.
Sometimes they're bad.
But feelings are something...
That everyone has.

How do you feel...
When you hold a friend's hand.
When they give you a smile.
Does it make you feel glad
I'll tell you a secret.
In you I'll confide.
My feelings they come.
From deep down inside.

Yeah!
Feelings go up.
Feelings go down.
There's lots of different feelings.
Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round
Sometimes they're good.
Sometimes they're bad.
But feelings are something...
That everyone has. hohoho. another day at school. another meaningless day. yes. omg. i just realised how often i screw up my life. urgh. damn tiring. should have ponned school today man. besides lit going through that unseen poem and scribbling like shit, i really didnt benifit much lah. and it's like if i stay at home and self study i'll maybe study like 5 times more?!? yes. school's stupid. apart from the laughter i get from friends, all the joy and all the fun. and not to mention the bitching. x] haha yes. and running around the school chasing eyecandies. (ahem. wink at jingyi and jolene)


haha kinddaf busy as well today. because of the vbc thing and yes i'm the project person in charge and stuff, was practically running round the school like shit trying to look for the china scholars and stuff. was like SOOOOOO SWEATY today. before my sweat can evaporate, i'm out there running again. i bet this is worse than running marathon man. with all the stairs and slopes, and trying to tuck in my shirt while avoiding teachers all around, while talking to jolene and asking her to hurry. hurhur. we were late for english class in the end. and yes. on the way. omg. was tryin to find amanda. and i bumped into tsh. dammit. and jolene was like "EHEH! you looking for her right?!?!" like WTH. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. so yea. made a fool outta myself. damn embarassing. and now, i'm off calling the group leaders and trying to find out who made it into the semis. before the rounds of phone calls + running round school again informing them bout the datelines, before rushing back to ms tan to update. omg this is a killer. i think it's worse than doing a set of amths mids papers! haha but i enjoy it SO MUCH MORE than the amaths paper man. like OBVIOUSLY DUHH. yes.


mr loh was saying if anyone fail both e and a maths will be encouraged to drop amaths. noooooo! oh well. i tried to study so hard alrdy. sobs. really dont dont dont dont dont wanna drop! although it's uber tiring trying to catch up. and yes. today had this briefing by mrs lee and mr tan on how cannot run a catch up race blah. and to make good use of the tablet. haha and after the briefing everyone was like so focused in class can. usually everyone starts surfing the net during amths. haha. but today everyone was taking down notes! omg. i guess it's the most effective briefing ever. and yes. why isit that we're always the 1st batch for everything?! at first is the psle, take results den choose school, den it's the tablet, den it's some other 3 more dongdong. and now it's like we are the 1st batch AGAIN to no more 3mths course. great. HAH. we are guinea pigs ah. oink. and yes. that means we gotta catch up syllabus and chiong through work, yet able to produce good work. omg i think this sucks. haha but nvm la. try lor. put in the best efforts. oh well.
shitty poot. :(


i believe in miracles. sigh. seriously. miracles should appear more often okay. like bird flu or smth like that right smack in between our mids. so we wont have to go school! and the stay at home sars thing will repeat itself. isnt it great?! haha yes. i wish man. i wish.


crap. dee sent me this song. it's called unwanted baby. omg. i seriously feel so unwanted and left out now. and it's quite true that at my side of the world, it's crumbling down. my physical and mental self. oh. crumbling. yes. unwanted baby. sense of isolation/desolation/alienation (learnt from lit) oh well. ...and the walls came tumbling down. and so did pearlyn on this fateful day. i just crumbled. yes i just did.





Phil Collins - You'll Be In My Heart

Come, stop your crying, it will be all right
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from, all around you
I will be here, don't you cry

For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us, can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry

'CAUSE you'll be in my heart
YES, you'll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust, what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all and

'CAUSE you'll be in my heart
YES, you'll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more

Don't listen to them, 'cause what do they know?
We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time, I know
When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on
They'll see in time, I know, we'll show them together

'CAUSE you'll be in my heart
YES, you'll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Always, I'll be with you
I'll be there for you, always, always and always
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there, always pearlyn neo! stop wasting your time. urgh.
i just cant seem to study. haha. still feeling a little high.
was lazing too much yesterday. and yeah. just slacked and did nothing lah!
so today is sunday. worh better still. haha. i am supposed to be studying. and trying to understand my freakin chem. but noooo. i'm like busy surfing the net and practically doing nothing! great. i wonder how i'm gonna survive mids man. :(

the blogging passion has come into me these few days after i changed my blogskin. hohoho. wasnt so actively blogging daily in the past. and yeah i found my new love of music. (: and not to mention i and e club. omg i miss cca days. T.T haha i miss all the stress and franticness of running around and laughing with my friends. sobs. haha and bestly, waiting at the mama store, using phone secretly, buying food, laughing and wasting time. haha. and i miss shifting goods too. oh well. although exams are like stress. but the stress of exams are like so different compared to the i&e stress haha. i&e stress is more fulfuiling please. i get sense of achievement. :D and a lot A LOT of FUN! but exams stress is just like pure stress lah. urgh. the sian-ness of studying. oh well. i wish there went exams man. -pouts the ANNA pout-. HAHA.




oh well. my sis got me hooked to this song. and yea. i <3 posting song lyrics on my blog. woohoo. <3

Wynonna Judd - Testify to LOVE

All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
when words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will speak
what love has done hohoho. it's saturday again. yes. lazy saturday. the day i decide not to do anything and just slack. but with the mids round the corner, sigh, i doubt it's possible. oh well. one week had pass since the big day. it had changed my life and turned it the other way round. quite excited bout mass later. hah. so with a diff perspective and view of life, i think i'll be able to overcome anything that come my way. hurhur. yes. i think i can. THINK. haha. shall be nicer to those of you around me from now on. [X

oh well. kinddaf bored right now. was having this 4 people conversation with yuexi, manda and yifang just now. talking bout boobies and hips. ROFL. and what are tits. i believe that it was one of the sickest msn conversations i ever had. and how i didnt brush my teeet when i woke up. ROFL. was talking bout this teacher in ma school. _______. yes. bout her humps and lumps. and i'm listening to my humps summore. 0.o really suited. HAH. thx to manada and her recommendation eh. -sniggers- yes. so i shall share with you the song. (:


omg so polling is on may 6. hah. i think elections are really really cool. hoho. i aspire to be the female prime ministress of singapore. (: haha got this urge to go into politics. think it's freakin fun. (: yes.


WARNING: the song below is SICK. pure SICK. haha. that is if you think in a sick way. so yeah. it's a WARNING. please dont scroll down anymore if you're not comfortable. if you wanna read my previous posts, quickly scroll down, cover your eyes and count to 5. and ta-da! you get my previous post! (: enjoy. yes. i admit i dont really like this song. HAH. pure sick.





presenting...

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and NaDonnaKaran, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' flyBut I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?

I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.
They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.

U can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)

My lovin' got u,
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.

What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?

I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.


okay. i admit that this is a REALLY REALLY SICK SONG. and it's not PG. it should be around NC-16. so yeah. if your're not 16. den tooo bad. i wont want you mama saying i'm polluting your brains. heheh. :D it's suits _______ REALLY well. (:
have fun! mugging, playing and doing whatever you like.


cya then. tata. (: owww. just came back from the doctors. had to do this check up thingy for obs if not i cant go. oh how i wish i dont have to go man. :x so yeah. in the end the doctor sorta molested me. press here press there. eww. and yes i got a jab. damn damn damn pain. although in the end i got this cute plaster to paste over though. so nevermind yeah. <3 hahaha. and i got the pills! hohoho. these pills are supposed to be eaten like 5 days before the obs to delay my mens and make it come later. yupps. and during obs i have to eat it like one pill in the morning and one pill at night. (: so once i stop eating, i'll see blood. wooohoo. so better set alarms and reminders of all sort. HAH. so i wont forget to eat. as you know. i am uber forgetful. so yeah.

today was alright actually. except the boring lessons part that made the day seem uber long. omg. it really seemed very very long. since our recess was like at 8.55. :o and yeah crap lah. had all the dragy subjects which i sorta dreaded, although they are kinddaf fun. yeah. had like physics, chem, lit, eng, chi. see! teachers funny i still dont mind. not chem please. :x i was playing diner dash during chem and english though. damn damn fun! :D haha. but i still payed attention okay! (yeah right) yes i did! i payed loads of attention. so yeah. tried to entertain myself but failed miserably. HAH.

after school had history. omg i <3 history. history is so FUN! haha. watch the rise of evil or smth like that. and i think hitler has a CUTE MOUSTACH. <3 haha that movie was talking bout hitler. and yes. as the movie says, he's very evil. tsktsk. but oh well. history was what cheered me up today. and omg chinese. had this da chang jin thing. haha if i tell yingling i bet she'll flop man. and go gaga over it. HEH. it was a damn damn hilarious clip. i <3 it too. (: but besides that i really dreaded school today. yeah. so after history was like party time!

woohoo. ok fine not exactly party. but yeah. tried to have fun after such a LONG week. and urgh. next week is gonna be like the longest and dreadiest week ever man. with all the stress of the mids coming up. and everyone seem to be going home to study. and felt uber guilty lah. i was still with ashley hanging out at orchard road to shop. haha but had loads of fun. agreed to go shopping to ashley to destress and partially to kill time before rciy. but at around 10+ got a msg from luc saying there's no more planning session today anymore! -whines- haha. wasnt able to see rod's braces. oh well. and to pass the 10 messages that i was supposed to pass from the twins. tsk. :D so yeah. went to far east to eat my oh-so-lovely FRIED MARS BARS. <3333 yes. and after that went to borders and saw this oh-so-wonderful colourful stripes big notebook by paperchase! i really really fell in love with it. the cover was made of cloth. and it was like so comfy to press! really wanted it alot a lot ALOT. but yeah. no $ as usual. it cost $24. :( HINTHINT. haha. must learn from lkh, to tap the table 3 times everytime she gives a hint. well. i realised that shes not as cold and evil and heartless afterall. (: although she still picks on me SOMETIMES. but yeah. i find her really cute. so fine. me and my bad taste again. it's always like that. -recalls some incident from the past-.

haha. went to topshop next. saw this pad bag. omg it was so cute! haha all my materialistic wants. oh well. no $. and fine. really really had this urge to buy something so in the end went to puma. and ashley bought this big puma bag that cost $49. :0 and i settled with my new puma waterbottle! it's sorta black with this blue puma sign there. (: $9. see the diff? yeah. anyway, i needed a waterbottle cause this adidas one i'm using is leaking very terribly. yes. so it's a NEED. not a WANT. :D

omg omg omg. before i end my whole post. i got something to say. do you realise what me and phyllis pham have in common?!?! shitty poot please. today ashley told me and i got a big fat shock. i hope it's not real. but yea. was really shocked when i heard about it. and i was like OMG. aniwae. pp is born on sept 2. and i'm born on sept 3. :0 pp goes to the same church as me when she was younger. :0 pp has a g behind her name. what does g stands for? gabrielle! :000000 OMG i was like SHITTY POOT. she got the same name as me! and what on earth is her birthday doing so near mine?!?! and yes. phyllis gab. pearlyn gab. pg pg. great. now we have sorta the same initials. best. hope i dont grow up to be like her.


sigh. for those downs that i'm facing nowadays iznt really counted as major compared to the so many kinds that i faced before. but yeah. i guess it matters to my own development and stuff. (ok i sound sick. but no im not thinking of that kind) and yeah guess no one can actually help me except myself. it's more of my feelings and emotions. and yes. not to mention. the disappoitment. :( and the lost of friendships? sigh. i really dunno. these few days i'm kinddaf stressed out due to partially the mids. and the whole world preparing for mids and i haven started yet. :X and i dunno how and where and what to do to start revising for mids. and yeah. i think it's obvious to me that there's this particular person that really doesnt want my company. it just seems that everytime i talk to her its just so distant. not so close as before anymore. okay i understand that because she is also very stressed with her school work and stuff. but yea. if she's busy, why come online and put her status as online but yet not talk to me? fine. she's daoing me. but why? at least tell me why you are daoing me so that i can improve for the better right. and yes. i wonder if this is a superficial friendship (learnt in lit!) cause it just seems to me that when she needs help and stuff and someone to talk to, she'll find me. if not i'll be there for her. but yes. now i need you to listen to me. but where are you? is it really going to end like this? i hope not. we've come so far. and now without telling me, you're ending it? i wish that you'll talk to me soon. either that or when we talk, have it just like before. not so hostile, not so "haiya haiya whatever lah!" "aiya! not my problem right?!" and yea. i wish i could confide in her just like before. it seems to me as though everything is over.


omg fine. i think i'm just over sensative yeah. ignore me.




haha steph got me hooked onto this song. and i realised i now formed this habit of adding song lyrics to my blog. oh well. (: hope yer enjoy this.


A1 - Heaven by your side

You and I, cannot hide
The love we feel inside
The words we need to say

I feel that I
Have always walked alone
But now that you're here with me
There'll always be a place that I can go

Suddenly our destiny
Has started to unfold

When you're next to me
I can see the greatest story
Love has ever told

Now my life is blessed with
The love of an angel

How can it be true?

Somebody to keep the dream alive

The dream I found in you

I always thought that love would be
The strangest thing to me

But when we touch, I realise
That I found my place in heaven by your side

I could fly, when you smile
I'd walk a thousand miles to hear you
Call my name
Now that I have finally found the
one who will be there for me eternally
My everlasting sun

Suddenly our destiny has started
to unfold

When you're next to me I can
See the greatest story love has ever told

Now my life is blessed with
The love of an angel

How can it be true?

Somebody to keep the dream alive

The dream I found in you

I always thought that love would be
The strangest thing to me

But when we touch, I realise that I
Found my place in heaven by your side

That I found my place in heaven by
your side

Heaven by your side, heaven by
your side, heaven by your side

When you're next to me, I can see
The greatest story love has ever told

Now my life is blessed with
The love of an angel

How can it be true?

Somebody to keep the dream alive

The dream I found in you

I always thought that love would be
The strangest thing to me

But when we touch, I realise that I
Found my place in heaven by your side

Now my life is blessed with
The love of an angel

Heaven by your side

Somebody to keep the dream alive

The dream I found in you

I always thought that love would be
The strangest thing to me

But when we touch, I realise that I
Found my place in heaven by your side rahh! i will bite. so yeah. i know i'll break down any moment from now.
either that or i just stuff myself and get fatter. yeah. crap. not feeling in the best of moods now. kinddaf crappy. been eating ALOT these few days. HAHA. i bet it's due to those stress. hmphh. mids is in like 8 more days and i'm SO NOT prepared for it. -freaks out- i really wonder how i'm gonna pass my mids. oh crap. especially with my crappy emaths and amaths. which i understand of course, but jsut dunnno how to apply and see the freakin pattern! and obviously chem and physics. chem is something which is TOTALLY DONT UNDERSTAND. yeah great. and it's in like 8 more days. and physics i have this teacher who keeps picking on me. sigh. yeah. and i just couldnt seem to concentrate in class. oh well.


yupps. i really hope everything will get over asap. dont really wish to have this kinddaf life. haha. and today's thursday, which means enterprise day! but noooooo. cca stopped and crap. i'm feeling miserable. so used to reaching home at 8pm on thursdays. and today i reached home at like 5.30pm. felt so weird. and i miss enterprise. i guess that's why keeps me going. and now it's stopped. oh well. i wish mids will get over soon man. SOON. :D


and today is like the shittiest day ever. felt like crying so much so much. oh well. it's like the 1st ever time i got b3 for chinese. it's the 1st B i ever got in my whole life in crescent. i know everyone is damn disappointed with me. and i'm damn disappointed with myself too. ): sigh. i'm just so stupid lah. i wrote the correct answer down at first. and when i was like checking through the paper i found the options weird and changed it to another number. URGH. i just cannot get things done properly. i'm such a big fat loser. i know she is very disapppointed with me as well. had this mini convo. and yeah. could tell. oh well. it's the 1st B. was i way too slack? was i too proud about what achievements i had in sec1? was i thinking that i could always get so high for chiense? sigh. i really dunno. guess i was wrong. it's a freakin 69.5. and i'm no longer in like the top3 like before. oh well. chinese means a lot to me. so yeah. maybe it's the only subject i can securly get an A1? but now i'm not so sure anymore. chinese means a lot to me. that's why i'm making such a big fuss outta it. oh well. now i dunno where i'm heading to. where is the light coming from? i guess all i could do now i just read more chinese stuff and speack more of chinese? jiang hua yu. there's really nothing much i can do now. really dont wanna disappoint her ever again.










urgh. and it just poked me inside.



Girl Next Door - Saving Jane
Small town homecoming queen
Shes the star in this scene
Theres no way to deny shes lovley
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside shes ugly
Maybe I'm just jealousI can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her
She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her
She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh an I'm just the girl next door
I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishin that I was someone else
She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
I get A little bit she gets a little more
Shes Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door... omg. seriously. i hate blogging at this time man. everytime i blog at this time i gotta refresh my blogger page like 37465827542 times before i can come and type my post. and they'll go like i've no connection and it cannot sense and bleh. so yeah. i need like 45min just to blog. crap. @^%$#^@%$#^@%#^@

haha oh well. rciy planning starts this friday. yay! cant wait! hahaha. :D
yes. so today wasnt such an extraodrinary day. kinddaf totally flunking my emaths test. there's like amths test tmr. and i doubt i can pass also. oh well. been told that i haven passed a single a maths test since the starting of the year. and come to think of it, quite true eh. sigh. i dont wanna drop amaths! haha. think it's really cool. but yet sucky at the same time.


haha. so today was meant to be old chang kee day. but ooh. no. it's changed to lido cum study cum finish-all-the-homework-we-owe-teachers-for-the-week day. HAHA. really amusing. went with emi, yasmin, joyce and adilah! hahaha. had loads of fun. saw karen tan buying skII damn hilarious. HAHA. so yeah. went home. and trying to mug my amths now.




it's weird coming to think of it. in life, once u have something, u often lose out, or lose the other. it's kinddaf impossible to have like 2 things at the same time! and i really wonder why. like for my case now, i have the joy of being with my friends in class. hahaha. but yeah. i think i'm losing it with my cca mates. oh well. i really wonder how. sigh. and not say everything in life is perfect. oh well. it's hard seeking for perfection. and yet perfection is not what i really want. what do i really want? i dont even know myself. oh well. i just want a happy and carefree life. with security, sense of identity and the warmth of having people around to give love care and concern. and for me to have a place to share my views, laugh and joke around. oh well. it seems a lot. sigh. it's been fuzzy wuzzy inside. i dunno what my true emotions are.




here to you, a poem i found on the internet. HAHA. it's random yes i know. oh well.

haha oh well. i think im just to lame and have nothing to do. sigh. trying to upload pictures here. and yes. i'm refraining from studying amaths chapter 4 which i dont understand a single thing about! oh well. so gonna flunk. crap.

omg. blogger is always screwing up on me. and i tried to access this page in like 20min. and it's like urgh. tourtorous. HAHA. when i wanna get into blogger, i always fail to so yeah. lifelong learning lesson from pearlyn the great ego shit: never give up in live and always keep trying, just keep clicking the refresh button and you will get to your goal some day. haha. for me i took 20min. oh well. and i'm supposed to blog about this milestone, this new life in my blog in just a pathatic 10min. how can? oh well. btw. this's the 1st time i'm blogging with a title. and yea. it feels weird. oh well. here i go.


on april 15 2006, at around 9.13pm, gabrielle was officially part of the family. yes. haha.
the feeling was GREAT.
it's a once in a lifetime thing. and i'll always remember it. yeah. i became one. woohoo (:
it's also the first of the sacrament of initiation yeah. baptism. HAHA.
now i'm part of the catholic church. united as one. oh well. suddenly reminded me of the 2s1 class vision or smth liddat. :D anyway, the feeling is like undescribable. yup. felt wonderful. cleansed and starting a new life. new beginning. with new faith and new guidance, i'll survive all these new obstacles coming along my way. :D

would like to specially thank my godma, which is like my aunt. haha. for support and help and guidance and all that she had done yea. not to mention all the presents. and love. (: and my godpa too. (: also. i'll especially like to thank everyone from rciy. woohoo. especially stephh, luc, tim, marcus, alicia, marese, melissa, rod and ada! haha. for all the love. support and friendship throughout my whole journey. i love and miss you guys! <3 cant wait for the new term of rciy to start. woohoo. :D

was really touched by the wonderous feeling, the spirit and all the goodness in life during the whole mass. was fantabulous! hahaha. so from now what's next? guess as a neophyte (sp?!) for the nxt 50 days of easter gonna think bout what i wanna do next. how to become the so called priest, prophet, king. haha. to spread the love and to serve all the people around me. (:





the whole new beginning. the brand new life. starts now.






okay random but yea. i got hooked to this song. again from the ij cd. my sis was playing it. x)

Vessels of your love

Lord, you are the rain falling lightly on us
Every tiny raindrop blesses us with love
Come and fill us up Lord, fill our thristing spirit
Let us be the vessels of your love
Lord, you are the sunbeams, shining down upon us
Every ray of light warms us up inside
Kindle us with fire, Lord, lead us out of darkness
Let us be the vessels of your love

Here we are, lift us up
Lowly vessels in your hand
Fill us up, pour us out
Make us part of your loving plan

Lord, you are the wind blowing gently o'er us
Every soft caress stills our restless souls
Let us hear your voice, Lord, resounding in our hearts
Let us be the vessels of your love
We are the vessels of your love





<3
i love and miss everyone of you out there.
and tomorrow shall be a brand new day. yay! finally have time to change my blog skin.
hoho. it's not really done yet.
as you can see from the name.
from the description of me and stuff.
and from all the links.
but oh welll.
hope you guys like it.
feel freee to give any comments eh. enterprise - the new found love of my life.
haha. seriously. that's the name of my enterprise folder on my desktop. :D
i <3 i&e. woohoo!
but.
i missed ONE session of i&e on thursday.
for something more important lying right ahead of me.
sorry for all the trouble i caused everyone.
for the whole tablet saga.
sorry yuexi, yuqi, amanda.
yups.
in the end i found my tablet lying right at my doorstep.
oh well.
so everything's fine.
sorry for making you people freak out.
my fault. (:


so yeah. thursday. a day of madness. a day of fun. a day of love. a day of anticipation. a day of peace. thursday was maundy thursday. haha. (: everyone tried to be more patient and stuff. and tried not to scold people who were apparently late. -sniggers- ended school at around 3+ thanks to lit extra lesson. tsk. doctor stockmann had moral courage to do what he thought was right. tsk. damn hilarious lesson. i wasnt exactly paying attention. was laughing my heads off at the back. chionged to the mama store to settle some stuff and i'm so glad i managed to catch a cab immediately when i got out of school! left school in a rush. reached home bathed and stuff and flew out again. haha. went for mass with rciy peeps. maundy thurs mass was absolutely cool. haha. met rod, tim, marcus. steph was in the choir. HAHAHA. :D had visitation after that. mel and rese were late. -sniggers-. visited church to church. omg. everywhere was like so packed lah! went for some tenebrae thingy at st mary's at around 11.30 and i reached home at 2. 0.o haha. didnt sleep that night. staying awake reading my book. and just thinking of some stuff. yupps. (: i <3 maundy thursday.



so this good friday iznt exactly a good friday at all. not exactly very good huh. loads of homework. and i'm not exactly very free. with so many committements and stuff to do. i'm just so glad i haven broken down yet. yesterday was busy for the whole day also. gd friday mass was good. hah. :D i love hot cross buns. yay! watched the passion m18 show again. nearly fell asleep oh well. didnt really sleep much as well. was reading ma book again. i'm so hoooked. xD


holy saturday's today. holy week is ending. so yup. today is the BIG DAY. BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG DAY. new life. new beginning. omg i cant wait! the easter vigil is so gonna rawk me off. :D __________ - the newest and greatest love of my life! xD


everything today is gonna be the 1st. and eleanor made me a card. ((: i <3 eleanor and all my rciy peeps. phew. i'm glad funfair's over. haha.
could finally take a 3 day break. haha. today, tuesday and wednesday.
after that gonna get busy again.

funfair's alright i guess. not say very fun. haha.
spent most of my time stuck doing duty.
and its been daunting on me that i'm not exactly suitable for council afterall. was the i/c for council that day. for the coupon booths and stuff. with my dearest dadang, waiteng! omg it just seemed that she was so much more efficient and stuff. and i was just like not there lah! i practically didnt exist. so fine. and the juniors were all calling her if they had problems. and my phone was like dead quiet, okay, minus of the fact that it was bombarded by enterprise people. but yea, no one from council called me. being an i/c, u get all the stress and stuff. and yet, in the end i dont feel any sense of achievement or whatsoever compared to enterprise. oh well. me and my thinking. shall not elaborate more in case some people get offended. tsk.


so yeah. i started my day flying to school, dumping my bag at the mama store and flying off to either shifting stock, answering phone calls, running up and down stairs round the school, trying to give briefing to the coupon people, but unfortunately i was not given a chance to talk so fine lah. and yeah, just hanging around. i didnt get any chance to play the rides and go for the haunted house! sobs. oh well. at least i had SOME fun. filled water bombs for after-dunking-session with miss tan. haha. that day i saw a total of like 8 people getting dunked. mr keong was damn hilarious. haha. and ms tan was freakin cute. oh well. so me and amanda was chionging the bombs at like 11am cause mt apparently had that time slot. but someone said she wasnt feeling well and her time got postponed to 2pm. fine. haha. so me and amanda got LAST minute notice, and was like so unprepared for the 2pm dunking lah! was chionging the bombs at the 2nd floor teachers toilet and we pushed the bombs + trolley down the slope. omg we made SO MUCH noise can that when mt was like sitting on that thing she was like WAHH! and she saw us with the bombs. fine. -.- we suck at aiming. thus we are in club. haha we are not in softball or whatsoever, yeah. we threw the ball like dunno how many infinity times before this uncle guy came and hit the target so mt could fall in. had to pay extra $100 for the unlimited throwing part summore. we might have been the fastest raising money ones, haha raised $100 in like 3-4min. pro eh. -sniggers-


i'm so sorry yuexi! so sorry for forgetting to inform you! was busy filling water bombs and stuff. i'm so sorry. =( and yeah. mt got kinddaf pissed and i was bad mooding the rest of the day. piff. ended off the day with MORE clearing up and MORE shifting of stock and MORE grumbling and MORE counting of money. sigh. haha. enterprise club made a total of like $2000++ in all i THINK. great job everyone! haha.


oh well. been reall sleepy today. no mood to study for my history and ss test. but i know if i dont study i'm bound to fail. so yea. and then someone is gonna start picking on me again. oh well.





it's 5 more days to the big day. new beginning new life. wonder if i could take it all. sigh. need strength to carry on. D: found this song from the ij cd. so yeah if u have the ij cd, u will know the tune yea. my sis's been playing it over and over again. and i'm hooked to it currently. :D


COMING HOME
Never imagined it would be like this
Always thought I'd have to fight you all the way
Defences were up, I was on my guard
Ready to say "No!", don't let my feelings show
But when I took my first step towards you
I felt like I was coming home
When I slipped my hand into your hand
I knew that was where I belonged
To you, that is where I belong

All the times, I'd been wandering around
Unaware you'd been waiting for me
In a flash I could hear you call
Suddenly I was coming home
Certainly I am home

Well, it seems so foolish that I took so long
To discover that you were the one for me
But now that I've found you, my life has turned around
Unafraid to say "Yes!", ready to face the test
'Cos when I saw that look inside your eyes
I felt like I was coming home
When I stood by your side, shoulder to shoulder
I know that was where I belonged
To you, that is where I belong

All the while, I'd been holding on
To everything that shouldn't matter
In a flash, I let go of my fears
Suddenly I was coming home
Certainly I am home

and yeah. this relates so much so much to what i'm feeling right now. and yeah. i love the ij cd. yupps. <3 sigh. this week had been MAD. madness week. haha.
loads of stuff had been happening and yea. i'm not exactly too happy about it.
but oh well.
in class, had to settle a lot a lot of stuff. haven really been paying attention. and my amaths and emaths and stuff sucks lah! and great. all thanks to our chinses teacher, i've been reminded that our midyr exam is like two weeks to three weeks more. whoa best. with the fun fair coming up tomorrow i seriously wonder how i can manage okay. and it's like these few days had been doing all sorts of rubbish except paying attention in class. haha i really needed that man. 0.o

so yeah. i finally finished the poland project! hope i win man! >.< seriously, someone just suck. it's like wth. u are not the freakin organiser. so wth are u doing critisizing our project? hello lor. it's you who like drop out of it. and now u wanna come and control us. like wth. i really dont need that man. and it's not as if i only can depend on you to send our projects over. wth. u stay near there dont need to brag about it right?!? and so what if you are such a rich ass. why cant u even afford your own cab fee?! tsk. 0.o and yes, if u cant do anything, then just shut up. i really really really do not need you there critisizing me and making me so demoralised all for nothing. great. just seriously go away. thank you. and now it's like because of this thing, had like LOADS more problems. right hor amanda?! =( crap. and the best thing is that the wrong kind of gossip is going around. and fine lah. in the end it's all my faut. %&#^$%&#^%$& ^% omg. i just so sick of this! so everything is just me, i, myself. i get all the scoldings all the blame. and i get things for i dont do. but surprisingly, i dont get things that i do. where has all the praises went to? usually all those had been my motivation. but now nooooo. it's all her work. everything is just hers. mine is just junk. and yeah. i get scolded for my "junk" when hello. it's you who took my work. wth. -.-


oh well. seriously cant be bothered about that. so yeah. tomorrow's the funfair. today the school was revamped in the afternoon man! like whoa. all the tents and everything! i couldnt recognise everything. and yea was like running up and down up and down everywhere! omg i was practically running MAD. and yes. my schedule tmr izit that good either. i only have a break from 10-1. and i have like 4 things which clash! great. i wonder how i'm gonna survive tmr. GAHHHHHHH.

and oh. please come for the crescent funfair! xD



and grr. i'm so mentally dead beat. =/ okay so today wasnt such a good day afterall.
early in the morning, my mum dumped the wrong water bottle into the wrong bag and i had to go to school with my sister's leaking water bottle. and that sucks man. and after that reached doby gaught, this woman came to bertha and me and ask for directions to go to some hotel. so yeah. we missed out bus. went to school, my class was like locked alrdy. and that sucks too. and i vomitted and shitted in school cause i wasnt feeling very well during chem. and ms goh was like freaking out i guess. and yeah. that so totally sucked.

after school was kinddaf fun. met manada, flew to tiong to get presents for yifang and jingyi. and after that flew back for elections. haha. elections was like whoa. best. now i'm the project manager of the apparently "exco of I&E 2006/07" HAHA. congrats to my dear ms thng for that uberly good achievement. haha all the best k. u still have my support. and stay the same always yupp (: always be that yuexi i know. haha. and yeah. so the project manager is supposed to chase after people to stick to their datelines for projects, make sure that they do their stuff and everything. and report to mt. whoa great lah! wth. and the "best" part was to like know that i didn't actually got the highest number of votes. and yet i still had that position. but truthfully, it really fitted me lah. as in i'm good at bugging people for stuff. just that when they really dont hand in and piss me off, i am not firm enough to scream at their face that's all. haha.


so now i'm really worried that i'm not up to the job. and that i cant cope and stuff liddat. and that particular person will be like yea, just like before. i always thought that elections will make everything seem better. but i guess it's not.

greater responsibilities. greater commitments. more effort. more work. omg go pearlyn u better make it. haha ego shitty me. (=









hoping that nxt nxt wk will be all fine.